IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food.. It is there fore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #fore #governments #tax
In the not-too-distant past, fast
food
 has been spread widely, and
then
, many people have indulged in consuming them in several countries. So, they have undergone some diseases, unluckily. It is considered that authorities should struggle with eating fast
food
 by taking much more
taxes
. I completely disagree with
this
 option. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 various solutions are able to be presented in
this
 issue
such
 as economic crisis and feeling happy. I will examine these hurdles in
this
 essay. There is a compelling argument to support the idea that governments ought to meddle to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 not to eat fast
food
 via taking higher
taxes
. They assume that if citizens pay a bit more tax to their country, they will be avoided to desire fast
food
.
For instance
, it had been tried in the little region of Thailand in 2009 by increasing
taxes
 on fast
food
 and they succeeded it.
However
, despite that minor implementation, taking higher
taxes
 is completely preposterous of because the Global Economic Crisis in 2010. Since the Crisis exploded, the economies of most countries have narrowed adversely.
Therefore
, they are tended to prompt inhabitants to consume fast
food
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the production of fast
food
 is rather cheaper than the other diets in restaurants.
Besides
, when people add
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
 to their
food
 program, they are nice to eat it regularly. The happiness of consuming fast
food
 outweighs the drawbacks.
Thus
, the governments should not affect the fast
food
 to eat. In conclusion, the responsible people for us would like to have much more
taxes
 for fast
food
;
however
, when we reckon the pros of consuming fast
food
, there are a considerable amount of benefits to
eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
 it
such
 as economy and weal.
Submitted by ibrahimsami34 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: