Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#religion #schools

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Nowadays, an increasing number of arguments that

religion

should be promoted,

while

others believe it should be prevented. In my opinion,

religion

Replace the word

religious

show examples

education should be limited as it may

leads

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

to the conflicts in future. Many claim that

religion

Replace the word

religious

show examples

education is mandatory as it promotes harmony.

This

is because children would learn the value of

religion

, and

respectful

Add a missing verb

be respectful

show examples

to other different cultures and traditions. To illustrate, few schools have already introduced the bible, from where students are more likely to enhance their knowledge about the

Christ

Replace the word

christian

show examples

religion

. Another key consideration, it is an opportunity to connect the students from different backgrounds.

Thus

, they indulge themselves in the activity where they share their ideas and thoughts. Despite,the merits

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

mentioned above, I would like to argue that the demerits of

this

trend are outweighed by the advantages.

Firstly

spiritual

Add an article

the spiritual

show examples

division might

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conflicts among young children owing to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cultural disagreements.

Hence

, they

tends

Change the verb form

tend

show examples

to hate other religions and

chances

Correct article usage

the chances

show examples

of discrimination

increases

Fix the agreement mistake

increase

show examples

For instance

, in Afghanistan

schools

Add a comma

,schools

show examples

the discrimination rate

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been

increase

Change the verb form

increasing

increased

show examples

in the

last

10 years.

Apart from

this

, if the

religions

Fix the agreement mistake

religion

show examples

is taught by any anti-

religion

Replace the word

religious

show examples

person

further

leads to negative consequences.

As a result

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

would learn only what is not right. In conclusion,

although

I accept that there are

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

possible advantages of introducing

religion

as a subject, I would still claim it is

destructive

Correct article usage

a destructive

show examples

approach

due to

numerous reasons that have already been mentioned.

Submitted by Navneet Dhand on Sun May 14 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

243 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

religious education
multi-faith society
values and ethics
tolerance
diversity
religious freedom
secular education
curriculum
worldviews
interfaith dialogue
religious literacy
moral guidance
cultural understanding
critical thinking
respect
indoctrination
religious beliefs
secular state
religious extremism
academic subject

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Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

In order to learn the way other people in world lives, it is better to look at film or video recard than documents

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?