IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Robotics is necessary for future human development. But it has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#robotics #future #development
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For over the
last
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 two or three decades,
mankind
Use synonyms
is being
Wrong verb form
has been
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 investigated the process of
Robotics
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 with the aim of easing human LIFE.
Robots
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 now own man-made Intelligence. In
this
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 essay, I will look at the pros and cons of
this
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 valuable gadget. On the one hand, a growing number of scientists are inclined to make
this
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 tool more useful by way of using
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 in sensitive fields like surgery.
This
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 is because some unsuccessful surgeries occur because of human fault;
therefore
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, utilizing
Robots
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instead
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 of surgeons could reduce the fatality rate dramatically so scientists have been working hard to reach
this
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 desirable success. As proven by statistics, one out of every five deaths owing to the tiredness of doctors during the action.
As a consequence
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,
Robotics
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 has the merit to save human life.
On the other hand
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, the majority of people are worried about the fast progress.
This
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 is because if
Robots
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 become smart enough, they could attack our race and even
would
Verb problem
apply
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lead to extinction.
For instance
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, there is a blockbuster movie in the name of Robot at which point it displays unforeseen circumstances in the possibility of villain
Robots
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 who will kill
mankind
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 after being Intelligent. Some say that
this
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 movie is the exact period of the far future if
mankind
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 continues working on
this
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 kind of tool perfectly.
As a result
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, it has several positive points now,
nonetheless
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, the condition
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 deteriorate if do not ponder the unexpected outcomes. In conclusion,
although
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 inventing
Robotics
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 has several positive aspects on human life and it will reduce the fatality rate in hospitals, it could become smarter than
mankind
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 and
acts
Correct subject-verb agreement
act
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 as an invader. Personally, I think it is highly likely that humanism will face several problems concerning
Robotics
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.
Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the given topic by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of robotics. However, the response lacks depth and comprehensive analysis. It is important to address all aspects of the topic in a balanced manner and provide more detailed arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and coherence. The essay would benefit from a more structured approach, with clear topic sentences and a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
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