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Writing Samples
Band 5

level of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the word what are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.

#level #youth #crime #cities #word
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Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
 of
crimes
 that are committed by adolescents
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 grown dramatically around the world. Young
people
 everywhere are suffering more than ever before which can cause them to There are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of solutions which should be implemented to deal with youth crime.
While
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
 of youth crime is rising, different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of mental disorders are
also
 becoming more and more common, especially among young
people
. At the same time treating these
ilnesses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
 and getting help is getting harder due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 shortage of qualified nurses and doctors around the world. When
people
 are struggling mentally but not getting treated, they tend to implement problematic
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 which can lead them to do
things
 like committing
crimes
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 young
people
 are living under increasing
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of pressure. They see
things
 that other teenagers have on social media all the time. If they are not able to afford those
things
 it might seem tempting to get them by any means. There are several ways to prevent young
people
 from committing
crimes
.
Firstly
, there should be more resources to support adolescents and offer them help when it is needed. Having at least one trustful adult in their life can make a difference when it comes to preventing youth crime. In every
city
Add a comma
,city
show examples
 there should
also
 be enough interesting
things
 to do for young
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
 which would keep them occupied. When they are busy doing
things
 they enjoy they would not have time to commit
crimes
. In conclusion, I believe that the increasing number of mental health problems and the pressure that young
people
 are facing nowadays are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 reasons why they commit more
crimes
 than before.
However
, offering help and organising activities for adolescents can help
preventing
Wrong verb form
prevent
show examples
 these issues.
Submitted by karoliina.seittenranta on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • youth crime
  • increasing rapidly
  • socioeconomic factors
  • breakdown of family structure
  • influence of peer pressure
  • lack of education
  • lack of employment opportunities
  • substance abuse
  • inadequate law enforcement
  • media and technology
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • gang culture
  • juveniles
  • criminal behavior
  • delinquency
  • criminal activities
  • antisocial behavior
  • youth offenders
  • recidivism
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