IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to the new buildings. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #buildings
With the development of our country, the existence of
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of old
buildings
 has been a serious problem. I agree that old
buildings
 should be knocked down and give way to the new
buildings
. Replace the old
buildings
 with new
buildings
 will create a better look of the city. With the changing of social aesthetics, the appearance of these
buildings
 which have long
historys
Correct your spelling
history
histories
 is no longer being seen as popular, but as old and outdated.
Also
, some of them were constructed in a random way that their existences have
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 one of the resistances to urban planning.
Besides
, since they were built years ago when the building technology had not been developed as much as it is today, after years of
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
, there are many
security
 issues that might affect the life safety of the people living there. But there are some other opinions that we should keep these old
buildings
. They consider that many
buildings
 still look beautiful
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays, and they
also
 carry culture and history. On the
security
 risks, they believe that we can solve
this
 problem with more
security
 checks and fixing the issue we find on time. But I think, most of the
buildings
 don’t have a good look, and only some of them have the value of culture or history. Checking the
security
 problem more is not only hard to accomplish but
also
 high spending. In conclusion, I believe that we should take down old constructions. It will create a better look of the city
as well as
 ensure the safety of people who live there.
Submitted by 915818382 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Heritage conservation
  • Historical edifice
  • Cultural legacy
  • Architectural marvel
  • Preservationist
  • Urban landscape
  • Economic revitalization
  • Tourist hub
  • Adaptive reuse
  • Cultural fabric
  • Aesthetic appeal
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Civic identity
  • Preservation criteria
  • Structural integrity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: