IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
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It is argued that households whose kids are studying in primary
schools
Use synonyms
 have no obligation to pay
taxes
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 to the state education department.
While
Linking Words
 I can understand why the governments charge these
families
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, it is by no means their responsibility to pay extra educational
fees
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, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 proposal.
To begin
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 with, the states have already collected
fees
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 in many ways. All spending by residents would involve a part of academic
taxes
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. So the students who are studying in private
schools
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 have paid educational taxations on their
tuition
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.
For example
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, if someone paid his school
tuition
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, a small part of his
tuition
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 would be possessed by the management which is work for education.
In addition
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, private school students do not get any knowledge or advantages from the public academic system. The students would be unwilling to pay money to state authorities. The
families
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 would suffer from more economic stress if states
ask
Wrong verb form
asked for
show examples
taxes
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 from them. The
tuition
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fees
Use synonyms
 of private
schools
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 are more expensive than that of public
schools
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. Additional
fees
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 may cause some financial crises for specific
families
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.
Furthermore
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, their living standard may suffer, which might lead to disappointment in governments.
For example
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, a poor family afford their kids to private
schools
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, and they have not only to pay the expensive
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 for
schools
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 but
also
Linking Words
 the
taxes
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 for the state education system. They have to give up letting their kid go to school.
To conclude
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,
while
Linking Words
 it is necessary for the academic systems to impose some taxation, it is not reasonable to ask for
fees
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 from
families
Use synonyms
 which have children in primary educational systems.
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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and conciseness. Clearly state your position on the issue and provide a brief outline of the points you will cover in the essay. The conclusion also needs to be more conclusive and summarize the main points.
task achievement
Your response addresses the prompt but lacks in-depth analysis and development of ideas. Provide a more balanced argument and include supporting details and examples to strengthen your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
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