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Band 5

Some people think that the news media nowadays have influenced people's lives in negative ways . To what extent do you agree or disagree ???

#people #news #media #lives
It is
frequent
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a frequent
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 topic of discussion that the
media
 has become
main
Add an article
the main
a main
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 part of individuals in the world. Some
people
 feel that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the reports of
media
 have affected to
lives
 of human beings in damaging ways. I try to depict my reasons and examples
as well as
 my knowledge
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
 I do not totally agree with
this
 idea in
this
 essay. On the one hand, if individuals utilize
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
news
media
 for good targets, it does not have
effect
Correct article usage
an effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
's
lives
 in
negative
Change the article
a negative
show examples
 way in society. Nowadays,
news
media
such
 as computers, laptops, tablets and especially mobile phones play
paramount
Add an article
a paramount
show examples
 role in young
people
's
lives
as well as
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
.
Due to
 the fact that
,
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apply
show examples
 the demand is increasing to use distinctive
media
 for nations and various technologies are improving day by day.
Furthermore
, using
news
media
 helps to find out
news
 and information which
nessessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 and related to different topics (
such
 as
about
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apply
show examples
education,
population
Correct word choice
and population
show examples
 ) during individual's
lives
 in most countries around the world. Even bad
news
of
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from
show examples
 some
media's
Change noun form
media
show examples
 can benefit
people
, as a productive way of self-guardian.
In other words
, I personally consider them
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 exceedingly helpful when it comes to preservation.
For example
, during
coronavirus
Correct article usage
the coronavirus
show examples
 pandemic, some
people
 intensively watch and follow mass
media
 in order to decide whether it is safe to go out or not. Another case is that some regions in urban areas became dangerous to
visite
Correct your spelling
visit
show examples
 alone, so some renowned
media
 webpages work on providing the population with city crime conditions and locations.
Nevertheless
, sometimes
media
 pages have a pivotal role to play in
people
's safety.
To conclude
, Despite negative elements,
media
 may be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a reliable and accurate source of
news
 for
people
.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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