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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people decide to eat healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this trend? What can be done to encourage more people to eat healthier and exercise?

#people #food #exercise #trend
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Many
people
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
 the trend to eat nutritious
food
 and gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical activity routinely. In
this
 essay, I will discuss what
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
causes
people
 to do
this
 trend, and how the
people
 can do to embrace society to decide
healthy
Change preposition
on healthy
show examples
food
 for their daily intake and exercise.
To begin
 with, every
people
 want to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chronic
desease
Correct your spelling
disease
diseases
 in the future by
eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
 healthy
food
 and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 sport regularly.
Besides
 genetic
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
, the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
biggest risk factor
people
Add a missing verb
is people
show examples
 get that
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
 because of their lifestyle when they were young.
For instance
, to prevent
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
diabetes mellitus, we have to avoid
food
 or snacks that
are much contain
Change the verb form
much contains
show examples
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
sugar and carbohydrates, and we do
jogging
Wrong verb form
jog
show examples
 at least an hour
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
twice a week. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, in the future
people
 will live healthier without any
desease
Correct your spelling
disease
although
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 getting older. They can still do the same activities
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 when they were young and live happily with their family.
In addition
, society
realize
Change the verb form
realizes
show examples
 that healthy
life
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 their performance in their daily activities. Many
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
 report that
balance
Replace the word
balancing
show examples
 nutrition and sport enhance the
body
Change noun form
body's
show examples
 metabolism. So it fully
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 body organs and tissues to produce some energy
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the brain and physical activity in the workplace.
As a consequence
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 easy to tired and always have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stamina for their
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance
.
Besides
, they
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 creative and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do their best
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 daily activities.
Furthermore
, to influence more
people
 to decide
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 healthily, campaigning
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the effective
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to promote the benefits to eat healthy
food
 and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
 the simple information and
supporting
Replace the word
support
show examples
 with
audio visual
Correct your spelling
audiovisual
show examples
 in their smartphone,
people
 will attract and curious to follow it.
For example
, we put information
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 to read nutrition facts in snack packages correctly
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
.
Besides
, youtube
vlogger
Fix the agreement mistake
vloggers
show examples
 who concern
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
, make simple video
tutorial
Fix the agreement mistake
tutorials
show examples
 for burning fat
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
show examples
 in the home. So,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 simple but informative tutorial to
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
 the healthy way for their
life
. In sum,
people
 will follow the good trend by
eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
 healthy
food
 and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
exrcise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 regularly. Indeed, it will
be increase
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 their good quality of
life
 in health in the future.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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