Some people think computer games have negative impacts on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent days, there are those who think that juveniles

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

obtained some adverse effects from

games

Use synonyms

that are played on computers, though there have been a lot of technical developments. I partially disagree with

this

Linking Words

view, and the reason will be elaborated on in the enlisted paragraph.

Firstly

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, let us look at some disadvantages of computer

games

Use synonyms

for juveniles. it would generate harmful results on children’s health because they always do not move their bodies outside of the houses.

For instance

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, in the past many young individuals played soccer or baseball after school, and it makes them tough against some illnesses.

However

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, students always play

games

Use synonyms

in their own houses,

thus

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it would create a destructive impact on their health.

However

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, perhaps

this

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should not be the case. Most children learn some sports activities after school

such

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as basketball or karate,

hence

Linking Words

they can move their bodies at these activities.

Furthermore

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, they can train how to use technical gadgets

such

Linking Words

as laptops,

while

Linking Words

they play enjoyable

games

Use synonyms

. Recently, most employees have to use

Use synonyms

and words, excel for their business, and it means

Use synonyms

skills have become one of the most essential abilities in the companies.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I think that the leisure that utilizing a

Use synonyms

or a tech would provide a pivotal occasion for training usages of these things. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

would originate negative impacts on some young people’s health, they can acquire the skills that will be necessary

Change the preposition

for

show examples

the future when they are in elementary school.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I slightly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

shimamura0116

May 16, 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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