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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Students should choose subject in with they are most interested

#students
It’s believed by some that students should choose
subject
Add an article
a subject
the subject
show examples
 in which they most interested in,
while
 others advocate for studying only superior skills.Despite the fact that
i’m
Change the capitalization
I’m
show examples
 partially claim for embodying everyone with
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 to choose their curriculum,drawbacks of
this
 phenomenon
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of adept
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
show examples
 in different spheres should not be overshadowed. On the one hand,universities should enable
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 with professionals,who are indispensable in building the future of the nation.In
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 terms,studying specific fields of science should be obligatory for those,who study at university.
For instance
,
survey
Add an article
a survey
show examples
 conducted by
Correct article usage
a british
show examples
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
 journalist,
reveal
Change the verb form
reveals
show examples
insufficient
Correct article usage
an insufficient
show examples
 workforce in
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 government structure,which not only
detain
Correct subject-verb agreement
detains
show examples
 the speed of work of
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 country
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
expose
Correct subject-verb agreement
exposes
show examples
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
unprotected
Change preposition
to unprotected
show examples
 before external invasions.
On the other hand
,the right to choose
future
Add an article
a future
show examples
 job is the one of basic rights guaranteed by international
human
Replace the word
humanitarian
show examples
 law.
Subsequently
,the right of choosing
subjects
 and curriculum should hinge upon one’s responsibility.
Moreover
,studying the
subjects
 to which
one’s
Change the noun form
ones
one
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 innate possibility,
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 one’s output,and
cease
Correct subject-verb agreement
ceases
show examples
 route learning.
For instance
,in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 was conducted experiment,when two
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 of people were distinguished by
subjects
 in which they were interested,and
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 which were elaborate for them.At
last
,
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 deduce that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
learning
subjects
 in which people
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 interested,don’t give
expected
Correct article usage
the expected
show examples
 results.
To sum up
 all the before mentioned data,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 we come to the point that,
although
 some crucial science should be integrated into
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 curriculum,people should have
choice
Add an article
a choice
the choice
show examples
,to choose some of the
subjects
,in order for them to not delve into mechanical route learning.
Submitted by leylaorucova02 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tuition fees
  • educational institutions
  • higher education
  • social classes
  • free higher education
  • student loans
  • scholarships
  • funding models
  • financial burden
  • publicly funded
  • privately funded
  • online education
  • MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses)
  • investing in education
  • economy
  • individual livelihood
  • commercializing
  • academic integrity
What to do next:
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