IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Public museums and art galleries are not necessary because nowadays people can see the historical objects and works of art in these places on the Internet. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#museums #art #galleries #people #objects #works #places #internet
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that public
museums
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 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 are not important to visit because they opine those things from the
places
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can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be seen on the
internet
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.
Although
Linking Words
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 could help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 to look
those
Change preposition
at those
show examples
 objects virtually, I disagree with the statement of unnecessary as visiting
such
Linking Words
places
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 give a real
experience
Use synonyms
Museums
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 and
art
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galleries
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 are the place to see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
historical objects and fine
art
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 from
particularly
Change the word
particular
show examples
people
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, they are legitimated
places
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 to place the object which have value to give
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 those who
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
 in. Since the
internet
Use synonyms
 is the common thing in
this
Linking Words
 modern’s era,
people
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 tend to see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
objects on the
internet
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 but it does not give the actual
experience
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 and could be misleading
information
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.
For example
Linking Words
, school nowadays carry out
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
field trip to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museums
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by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 virtual
experience
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
zoom
Correct your spelling
Zoom
show examples
 meeting but eventually, the
information
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 and
experience
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
desired
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not fully obtained .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the use of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who use it as the
internet
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 provides
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
 and it is flexible without considering the time to travel
visit
Fix the infinitive
to visit
show examples
such
Linking Words
places
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 as
museums
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 and
galleries
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in technology era which become advanced over
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
,
people
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 can surf on
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
 to find the
information
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 that they want from
museums
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 and
galleries
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 just from their
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
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 can access the
virtuality
Replace the word
virtual
show examples
 museum in application to feel the
experience
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.
However
Linking Words
, the atmosphere does not give the real
experience
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
museums
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 and
art
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galleries
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 are essential to
be exist
Change the verb form
exist
show examples
 because they offer an exclusive condition unlike in
virtual
Correct article usage
the virtual
show examples
 world and
also
Linking Words
 the
information
Use synonyms
 obtained is more clear to visit physically than virtually.
Submitted by farel2300 on

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