IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Public museums and art galleries are not necessary because nowadays people can see the historical objects and works of art in these places on the Internet. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#museums #art #galleries #people #objects #works #places #internet
Some
people
 think that public
museums
 and
art
galleries
 are not important to visit because they opine those things from the
places
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be seen on the
internet
.
Although
 the
internet
 could help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to look
those
Change preposition
at those
show examples
 objects virtually, I disagree with the statement of unnecessary as visiting
such
places
 give a real
experience
Museums
 and
art
galleries
 are the place to see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
historical objects and fine
art
 from
particularly
Change the word
particular
show examples
people
.
In addition
, they are legitimated
places
 to place the object which have value to give
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 those who
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
 in. Since the
internet
 is the common thing in
this
 modern’s era,
people
 tend to see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
objects on the
internet
 but it does not give the actual
experience
 and could be misleading
information
.
For example
, school nowadays carry out
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
field trip to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museums
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 virtual
experience
such
 as
zoom
Correct your spelling
Zoom
show examples
 meeting but eventually, the
information
 and
experience
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
desired
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not fully obtained .
On the other hand
, the use of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
 who use it as the
internet
 provides
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
 and it is flexible without considering the time to travel
visit
Fix the infinitive
to visit
show examples
such
places
 as
museums
 and
galleries
.
Moreover
, in technology era which become advanced over
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
,
people
 can surf on
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
 to find the
information
 that they want from
museums
 and
galleries
 just from their
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
.
For instance
,
people
 can access the
virtuality
Replace the word
virtual
show examples
 museum in application to feel the
experience
.
However
, the atmosphere does not give the real
experience
.
To sum up
,
museums
 and
art
galleries
 are essential to
be exist
Change the verb form
exist
show examples
 because they offer an exclusive condition unlike in
virtual
Correct article usage
the virtual
show examples
 world and
also
 the
information
 obtained is more clear to visit physically than virtually.
Submitted by farel2300 on

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