IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people today believe that world’s population increase is unsustainable and will eventually lead to global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase is necessary as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #world’s #population #crisis #world #growth #economy #society
In the past decade, technology and the internet changed our life so much.,
Also
 life become much easier
the
Correct word choice
because the
show examples
 world's
population
 jumped rapidly.Society's people are divided into groups and are concerned that as the number of citizens increases that will lead to
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
 crisis
while
 many claim that notion
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 are rejecting it. Supporting the first school of thought, People believe due gigantic
growth
 of the
population
 will lead to a shortage of resources.
For example
, in the past decade, nearly all individuals can find jobs easily but the
increase
 in
population
 results in
growth
 competition between candidates.Another supporting argument, nowadays countries are facing pollution and climate change as
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
monster threats
due to
 the large demand for production and more and more consummation of foods.
However
, some groups of people believe that
this
increase
 will lead to
growth
 in the economy and positive competition among different sectors.
For example
, nowadays the number of the food chain is increasing
due to
 larger demand ,so creating a bigger number of opportunities for fresher graduates.
Secondly
, in crisis, bright minds and enterprises rose with their innovative ideas for ways to solve problems,
also
 with the
increase
 in
population
 will lead to various points of view. In conclusion, I believe that the
growth
 of the
population
 will aid the community and economy in many fruitful ways and
this
 rapid
increase
 in advantages outraced their disadvantages.
Therefore
, we will have a society with a powerful economy and a smart sustainable environment.
Submitted by mabuzayedfamily on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: