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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many young people find their first days at high school or college difficult, because they feel very lonely. What do you think are the other difficulties they face on their first days? What can schools and colleges do to make them feel more comfortable?

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When the
students
Use synonyms
 go to
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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at
Change preposition
on
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 the 1st day, they will not only get in touch with many fresh things
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
enconter
Correct your spelling
encounter
encountered
 many difficulties.
According to
Linking Words
 the survey, more than 70% of the freshmen feel lonely. In my opinion,
beside
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besides
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 loneliness,
newcome
Correct article usage
the newcome
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 will
also
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 encounter other difficulties. The first point is that when we enter senior high school or university, we are about to learn new knowledge, which means we need to accept new learning
challenge
Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
show examples
. Perhaps homework will become more
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
complex, so we need to spend more time studying.
This
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 not only tests our independent learning ability
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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 our
self-dimpline
Correct your spelling
self-discipline
.
In addition
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, we will
also
Linking Words
 be exposed
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a wider range of knowledge, which will make
students
Use synonyms
 worry about if they have enough knowledge reserve and can understand. The second aspect is that
students
Use synonyms
 come to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
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 environment, they feel uneasy and nervous.
For example
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,
due to
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 not understanding the school’s landform and not
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 able to accurately find dormitories, they waste a lot of time missing on the freshman report.
Besides
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, they may have too much luggage and feel helpless when they feel embarrassed to ask for help.
Overall
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, on the one hand, schools can organize extracurricular activities to ease learning pressure and relax, and
on the other hand
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,
college
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colleges
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 can arrange more volunteers to assist new
students
Use synonyms
 in entering the school or hold an orientation meeting to promote conversation between
students
Use synonyms
. In the future, I hope that
loneliness
Correct article usage
the loneliness
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 of pupils
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can decrease and more people will care about them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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