The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The following illustration depicts the
town
of Garlsdon (population is 65000 people) and two possible spots for the
supermarket
that will be built there.
Also
, the map shows 3 main roads and
one
railway road that leads to other Hindon, Brandson and Cransdon.
This
town
has 2 industrial destinations,
one
of them is located in the south and the second
one
in the north. The first destination for the new
supermarket
is located in the northern part of the
town
, in the countryside. In spite of the fact that
this
supermarket
is located in the countryside, there is not
such
a big distance between the
supermarket
and housing. It is near to the
town
of Hindon, too. The second location is in the
town
centre without any traffic zone.
This
one
is located in the southern. In
this
case, the
supermarket
is near all 3 main roads and the railway.
Also
, I would like to mention that
this
spot is located among the housing and between two industrial locations.
Submitted by Ayan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words town, supermarket, one with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • map
  • town
  • supermarket
  • site
  • overview
  • possible
  • transportation
  • access
  • surrounding
  • facilities
  • population
  • density
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