Some people think that buildings such as flats and houses should be designed to last a long time. Others believe that is is more important to provide accommodation quickly and cheaply.

#people #buildings #flats #houses #time #accommodation

Most people argue that opinion

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

apartments and houses should be designed in a long time period.

However

, some people think that the big issue is not design.

Otherwise

, accommodations should

provided

Change the verb form

be provided

show examples

with necessary things. And

also

, it must be

quickly

Change the word

quick

show examples

and

cheaply

Change the word

cheap

show examples

for poor individuals. In the first place, nowadays, some individuals try to build new flats

instead

of avoid to being poor without houses. So, when it comes to making a design. It has

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good and bad

sides

Correct the article-noun agreement

side

show examples

For example

, it might be a high

costly

Replace the word

cost

show examples

Furthermore

, it takes too much time to decorate.

However

, it would be really better.

This

is because it can

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

us feel thrilled.

Besides

, more and more mankind want to adorn their homes. And

also

, it is becoming

popular

Correct article usage

a popular

show examples

thing day by day.

On the other hand

, the

demands

Fix the agreement mistake

demand

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

housing is

growth

Replace the word

growing

show examples

at present. There are several reasons why it is important to build new buildings quickly and efficiently.

This

is because it

really

Add a missing verb

is really

show examples

related to the increasing of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

citizens. First and foremost, more citizens need a house to live

Change preposition

in.

show examples

Therefore

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should be cautious and supply

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

home

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

Moreover

, the public

have

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has

show examples

to focus on the price of

flat

Add an article

the flat

a flat

show examples

which is affordable. And

also

, they must be careful

Change preposition

about

show examples

the house quality. It is common knowledge that it depends more on the developers. I mean, its quality and time should be built by professional builders. In conclusion, it is my perception that supplying

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

accommodations is

better

Add an article

the better

a better

show examples

way than

design

Wrong verb form

designing

show examples

other flats. And it would be equal

Change preposition

for

show examples

all

Change preposition

apply

show examples

individuals

Add an article

the individuals

show examples

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Wed May 17 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that buildings such as flats and houses should be designed to last a long time. Others believe that is is more important to provide accommodation quickly and cheaply.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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