IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that buildings such as flats and houses should be designed to last a long time. Others believe that is is more important to provide accommodation quickly and cheaply.

#people #buildings #flats #houses #time #accommodation
Most people argue that opinion
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
apartments and houses should be designed in a long time period.
However
, some people think that the big issue is not design.
Otherwise
, accommodations should
provided
Change the verb form
be provided
show examples
 with necessary things. And
also
, it must be
quickly
Change the word
quick
show examples
 and
cheaply
Change the word
cheap
show examples
 for poor individuals. In the first place, nowadays, some individuals try to build new flats
instead
 of avoid to being poor without houses. So, when it comes to making a design. It has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good and bad
sides
Correct the article-noun agreement
side
show examples
.
For example
, it might be a high
costly
Replace the word
cost
show examples
.
Furthermore
, it takes too much time to decorate.
However
, it would be really better.
This
 is because it can
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 us feel thrilled.
Besides
, more and more mankind want to adorn their homes. And
also
, it is becoming
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
show examples
 thing day by day.
On the other hand
, the
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing is
growth
Replace the word
growing
show examples
 at present. There are several reasons why it is important to build new buildings quickly and efficiently.
This
 is because it
really
Add a missing verb
is really
show examples
 related to the increasing of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens. First and foremost, more citizens need a house to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
Therefore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should be cautious and supply
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.
Moreover
, the public
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to focus on the price of
flat
Add an article
the flat
a flat
show examples
 which is affordable. And
also
, they must be careful
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the house quality. It is common knowledge that it depends more on the developers. I mean, its quality and time should be built by professional builders. In conclusion, it is my perception that supplying
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
accommodations is
better
Add an article
the better
a better
show examples
 way than
design
Wrong verb form
designing
show examples
 other flats. And it would be equal
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals
Add an article
the individuals
show examples
.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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