The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between 2000 and 2009.

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The table chart provides information about the percentage of participants attending four different school types from 2000 to 2009

years

Use synonyms

Overall

Linking Words

, the contribution of some

schools

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changed significantly . Only specialist

schools

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show stable value , in all

years

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statistics the same . The highest value of proportion

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

voluntary-controlled

schools

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in two

years

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was 52 per

cent

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and 38 per

cent

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( in 2000 and 2005

years

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respectively ) . And the highest value of proportion in 2009

show

Fix the agreement mistake

shows

show examples

community

schools

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was 58 per

cent

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. Unfortunately

Add a comma

show examples

the level of contribution of grammar

schools

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decreased from 24 per

cent

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to 12 per

cent

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To sum up

Linking Words

, trough the time preference of people changed . And in 2009 children likely to attend community

schools

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than voluntary-controlled

schools

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Thus

Linking Words

community

schools

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take the top in 2009 ,

while

Linking Words

others contributed only 42 per

cent

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overall

Linking Words

in 2009 . , , .

muharodnoyWed May 17 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words years, schools, cent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

154 words

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The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between 2000 and 2009.

2. Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money.others arige that it is better to try to improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that as long as professional sportsmen and sportswomen are good players, their behavior on and off the paying fields is not important. Do you agree or disagree?