The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between 2000 and 2009.

The table chart provides information about the percentage of participants attending four different school types from 2000 to 2009
years
.
Overall
, the contribution of some
schools
changed significantly . Only specialist
schools
show stable value , in all
years
statistics the same . The highest value of proportion
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
voluntary-controlled
schools
in two
years
was 52 per
cent
and 38 per
cent
( in 2000 and 2005
years
respectively ) . And the highest value of proportion in 2009
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
show examples
community
schools
was 58 per
cent
. Unfortunately
Add a comma
,
show examples
the level of contribution of grammar
schools
decreased from 24 per
cent
to 12 per
cent
.
To sum up
, trough the time preference of people changed . And in 2009 children likely to attend community
schools
than voluntary-controlled
schools
.
Thus
community
schools
take the top in 2009 ,
while
others contributed only 42 per
cent
overall
in 2009 . , , .
Submitted by muharodnoy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, schools, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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