IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #manufacturers #supermarkets #responsibility #amount #goods #customers
While
 some people think that the
responsibility
 of reducing product packaging belongs to producers and supermarkets, many individuals argue that
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 have that
responsibility
. In
this
 paper, I would discuss
both
 points of view in-depth and present examples to show why
both
 assertions are compelling. On the one hand, those who
advocates
Change the verb form
advocate
show examples
 for producers should reduce packaging agree that they package their
goods
 so they have the
responsibility
 to limit it.
Firstly
, they protect their
products
 by using excessive
packages
Replace the word
packaging
show examples
.
For example
, to converse easily broken
goods
 or food, they have to cover more plastic bags on their commodities.
Thus
,
this
 could reduce the rate of
broken down
Add a hyphen
broken-down
show examples
goods
 they could be presented for a long time.
Secondly
, they can attract more
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 to buy their
products
 by packaging carefully their
goods
. People are often attracted by luxurious and well-decorated things, so they can sell more commodities
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 consumers and gain a high amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
market share.
On the other hand
, proponents of
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
 to avoid buying
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 packaged
goods
 have several reasons. The first reason is they have a substantial effect on companies' activities through their preference. If they avoid
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
 too
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 packaged
products
, corporations will realise the significant change in
costumers
' interest,
thus
, they will package their
products
 less and raise their awareness about protecting
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. Another reason is using more packages, especially plastic packages, can have a detrimental
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on their health.
For instance
, many micro-plastic molecules could move into their stomach by eating food which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 wrapped
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 plastic bags.
As a result
, it has direct and robust effects on their health
due to
 packaging a lot. In conclusion, I believe that
both
 of them should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
 to reduce the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of packaging
products
 to conserve our environment through many feasible solutions that
both
 could do in the future.
Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
What to do next:
Look at other essays: