IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

#english #school #languages #risk
Nowadays, we live in a globalizing
world
. For
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 we need to talk in the same common form with each other. The most common form is
English
 in our
world
. In my opinion, people are right about wanting to learn
English
, but
English
 is less important than our local
language
. Because the local
languages
 are our
culture
, our history, our own. We must not lose these important things.
Firstly
, the most popular communication way is the internet and mobile phone applications. So, their
languages
Fix the agreement mistake
language
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
English
.
Also
, there are too many texts, essays and research in
English
.
For example
, the number of
English
text
Fix the agreement mistake
texts
show examples
 is much higher than any other
language
 on Wikipedia. We want to learn a new thing from all perspectives or we want to tell something about ourselves to the rest of the
world
. We need
English
 and because of
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 we must learn
English
 in the globalizing
world
.
Although
, the local
languages
 are very important for us. Because our mother tongue reflects our
culture
.
Also
, the
culture
 shapes and develops the
languages
. We use to word called native for good speak a foreign
language
.
Also
, the native speakers know grammar or
language
 direction very well but the more important thing is that they know the
culture
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in that
language
. So, local
languages
 must be protected for cultural diversity. The globalizing
world
 always needs cultural diversity to develop. In conclusion, the
English
language
 is necessary for all of us and we try to learn
this
language
 one way or another, but local
languages
 are very important for local people and how they remember their history,
culture
 and
own
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
identity.
Submitted by fatihmet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view on the importance of learning English and preserving local languages. However, make sure to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and address all aspects of the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the ideas are logically organized. To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and use transition words to connect ideas more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • endangered
  • linguistic heritage
  • inclusive
  • multilingualism
  • language revitalization
  • language policy
  • language preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: