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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today the internet has replaced traditional books as a source of information. Discuss the Advantage & Disadvantage.

Nowadays, the
internet
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 plays a crucial role in everyone's life.It is believed that browsing has replaced the old methods of reading as a way of collecting
data
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.
This
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 essay will discuss how the merits outweigh the demerits. On one hand, the
internet
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act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
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 as a convenient source of gathering
information
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 as it provides
service
Correct article usage
a service
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, which is available to its users 24/7,
whereas
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 it
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 be inconvenient in the case of
books
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books,
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 as these only provide specific
data
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 and for access, people have to visit shops to buy ,which are not
already
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apply
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open at night
time
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apply
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.
Additionally
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,the
internet
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 provides a wide variety of
data
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, which is available in detail.To be precise,it offers international-level learning to its users,
such
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 as academic journals and articles available on Google and YouTube, though
,
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apply
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any
information
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 can be obtained,
while
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 in the case of books,the
data
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 is limited.
Furthermore
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, the
internet
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 is way faster and more affordable to get
information
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as
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, as
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 with a few clicks on the search button, people will have access to a wide variety of stuff
and
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, and
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 diverse offers are available in cheap related buying
internet
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 service.
Therefore
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, it is far more accessible and affordable as compared to traditional books.
On the other hand
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, despite the several advantages that the digital network provides, it has some disadvantages too.First of all,the
information
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 available on it can be irrelevant as it
,
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apply
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sometimes
,
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apply
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 contains false
data
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 and numerous rumours, which can be wrong or right at the same time.
For example
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, the rumours about Bollywood stars on social media platforms can,at times,be false and irrelevant
.
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apply
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, which cannot be justified.
Secondly
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, browsing can lead to disturbances and distractions, which
makes
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can make
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 people frustrated and irritated.
In other words
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, occasionally, when network coverage is slow in some areas,
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then
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apply
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users find it difficult to use it. In conclusion, despite the demerits that the digital network presents (false and irrelevant
data
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 , disturbances)
but
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, but
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also
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 offers numerous advantages, including convenience, a wider repertoire of
information
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 and time efficiency.

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grammar
Fix big grammar mistakes and use easy, clear form. This helps you be seen as clean.
structure
Make short, plain sentences. Avoid long run on lines.
content
Give more exact examples from the idea of online info and old read. Tie them to the point you make.
planning
Make a small plan before you write. A short intro with thesis, two clear ideas in order, and a short end.
vocabulary
Use easy words more. Repeat key ideas in a calm way to help readers.
You show a clear view of the topic and take a side.
coherence
Intro and conclusion are there, so the essay feels done.
cohesion
You use join words like 'Furthermore' and 'Therefore' to link ideas.
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