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Band 5.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
Nowadays, the number of people with
issue
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the issue
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 of their health try a different way than visiting
to
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apply
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doctor
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the doctor
a doctor
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 to heal their illness.
Although
,
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apply
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 they find
alternative
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an alternative
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 way to cope with their sickness, they have to deal with the consequence that
arise
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arises
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 since the alternative does not have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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academic research, which
lead
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leads
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 to negative development. To start with, in
modern’s
Correct article usage
the modern’s
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 era, some people still believe
with
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in
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herbal
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the herbal
an herbal
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clinic
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clinics
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 and traditional medicines because they think that the treatment will heal faster and
also
 it is cheaper than visiting
to
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apply
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the doctor.
Moreover
, they opt
the
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for the
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 alternatives as they are attracted by the advertisement and
review
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reviews
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 by their friends,
while
 it is not always
best
Correct article usage
the best
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choices
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choice
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 to choose
due to
 the result will depend on chance.
For example
, based on
from
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apply
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my
friend
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friend's
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 story, the traditional Chinese medicine promoted their drug to their parents and guaranteed it can heal quickly and gave
the
Correct article usage
a
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 lower price than usual, but eventually the parents of my friend felt more pain,
therefore
 they tested the drug and the lab told to them that medicine was not in testing on government laboratory.
On the other hand
, the government have already made the rules which govern
for
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apply
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the
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apply
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herbal and traditional treatment which should have
the
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a
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 certificate that
indicate
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indicates
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 their procedure is safe for the patient.
In contrast
, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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herbal clinics do not have
the
Correct article usage
a
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guaranteed
Replace the word
guarantee
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if
Correct word choice
that
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 their treatment is safe and the price is not expensive
then
attract
Wrong verb form
attracting
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 the more patient than
hospital
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hospitals
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.
For instance
, the acupuncture clinic near my house have more
patient
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patients
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 than the hospital in the same complex which caused the hospital
moved
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to move
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 to
other area
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another area
other areas
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.
To sum up
,
the
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apply
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people should be aware
about
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of
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 the consequence
in
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of
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 using the medicine given by
the
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apply
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clinics which do not have
the
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apply
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legitimate certificate with the aim of safety for the community.
Submitted by farel2300 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
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