some people think that activities during the free-time should be planned while others disagree. Discuss both sides and include examples and relevant data from your own experience.

#people #activities #free-time #data

The issue of planning free

time

has turned into a controversial topic in

this

century. In

this

way, some people believe that planning for sports in

free

Correct pronoun usage

their free

show examples

time

is necessary

while

others have accepted that planning for activities is not important. Personally, I agree with the second group. In the following paragraphs, my points of view will be explained in detail. First and foremost, no one can ever deny the significance of exercise nowadays. In

this

way, there is a growing tendency among the people who want a healthier

life

In addition

according to

the latest figures released by government authorities, the rate of obesity in cities is sharply increasing which is related to hectic lifestyles .

In other words

, the majority of people do not have enough exercise. From

this

perspective, the government authorities usually tackle the issue by making policies by urban design and urban planning to create public parks and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

zones. To put it simply, planning for sports in free

time

is a must for each person to prevent many types of diseases. Some might believe that activities do not have a significant role in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Furthermore

This

attitude might contribute to

growth

Add an article

the growth

show examples

of diseases,

for instance

, mental disorders and high blood pressure and so on and so forth. It is of utmost importance to say they forget the priority of activities in society. To summarize, I feel in

this

century, it is widely accepted that

workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

show examples

and

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

have a significant role in our

life

. To clarify more, focusing on planning and exercising in free

time

can contribute to having a healthier

life

Submitted by kambiz.pirzad on Wed May 17 2023

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task response

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coherence cohesion

Organize the essay in a more coherent and cohesive manner to improve the flow of ideas and logical progression.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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