People should follow the customs and traditions when they start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more people leave their motherlands in order to find
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
better life conditions
a better life condition
show examples
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
conditions. It is argued that humans should respect
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
rules and traditions of the
stare
Correct your spelling
state
show examples
when they are beginning a new
life
there.
This
essay agrees that all new residences have to be assimilated into countries
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
aspects.
Firstly
, a great possibility to obtain new friends among locals.
Secondary
Replace the word
Secondly
show examples
,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
can significantly diversify his lifestyle. It is clear, that migrants can find more comrades in the new country.
Due to
receiving knowledge about states
customs
Add a comma
,customs
show examples
It is not complicated to discover new contacts in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is leading to increasing your mental health condition by hanging out with new mates.
For example
, Japanese students are more
opened
Replace the word
open
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign freshmen if they are aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
traditional holidays.
Overall
, new citizens have
an
Change the article
the
show examples
ability to vary their existence.
Culture
Replace the word
Cultural
show examples
differences between nations create a number of specific celebrations and interesting for everyone events around the world.
Therefore
, human has more special days in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
, by combining
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
original customs
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
acquired from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other society, and
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
a person has
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to avoid a boring
life
routine.
For instance
, the
last
research found
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that workers
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
more celebration days are more productive and beneficial
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
job-position
Correct your spelling
job position
show examples
. In conclusion,
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the adjusting
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
your new
life
in the
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
state, entrants should follow regional cultural requirements because of
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
to make their routine more interesting, and
also
to have
certain
Change the article
a certain
show examples
amount of people with the same field of interests.
Submitted by ksvid49 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: