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Band 5.5

People should follow the customs and traditions when they start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country
Nowadays, more people leave their motherlands in order to find
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
better life conditions
a better life condition
show examples
life
Replace the word
living
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 conditions. It is argued that humans should respect
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 rules and traditions of the
stare
Correct your spelling
state
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 when they are beginning a new
life
 there.
This
 essay agrees that all new residences have to be assimilated into countries
culture
Replace the word
cultural
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 aspects.
Firstly
, a great possibility to obtain new friends among locals.
Secondary
Replace the word
Secondly
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,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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 can significantly diversify his lifestyle. It is clear, that migrants can find more comrades in the new country.
Due to
 receiving knowledge about states
customs
Add a comma
,customs
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 It is not complicated to discover new contacts in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is leading to increasing your mental health condition by hanging out with new mates.
For example
, Japanese students are more
opened
Replace the word
open
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign freshmen if they are aware
about
Change the preposition
of
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 traditional holidays.
Overall
, new citizens have
an
Change the article
the
show examples
 ability to vary their existence.
Culture
Replace the word
Cultural
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 differences between nations create a number of specific celebrations and interesting for everyone events around the world.
Therefore
, human has more special days in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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life
, by combining
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
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 original customs
and
Correct word choice
apply
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acquired from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other society, and
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
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 a person has
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to avoid a boring
life
 routine.
For instance
, the
last
 research found
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that workers
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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has
Change the verb form
have
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 more celebration days are more productive and beneficial
on
Change preposition
in
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 their
job-position
Correct your spelling
job position
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. In conclusion,
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the adjusting
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your new
life
 in the
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 state, entrants should follow regional cultural requirements because of
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
 to make their routine more interesting, and
also
 to have
certain
Change the article
a certain
show examples
 amount of people with the same field of interests.
Submitted by ksvid49 on

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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