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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that one-on-one lessons are better for learning while others think that group lessons are superior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #lessons #group
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It is irrefutable that, education plays a pertinent role in life,
thus
Linking Words
 few individuals feel that,
group
Use synonyms
 lessons are significantly better,
while
Linking Words
 others are in favour of one-on-one teaching, because it provides personal attention. I will discuss both viewpoints and mention my opinion in the
looming
Correct word choice
following
show examples
 paragraphs. To commence with private coaching, in
this
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 competitive world, each and every parent has a dire responsibility on their shoulders to provide the best education to their ward. Despite being slightly more expensive than
group
Use synonyms
 teaching, it does have some
un-comparable
Correct your spelling
incomparable
show examples
 benefits. Certainly, the learner gets the personal attention of the tutor, enabling the student to get his doubts solved at a much faster pace.
For example
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, un-academy or
byju's
Change noun form
byju
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 like platforms are more focused on providing an immersive experience of one-on-one coaching, which will help their business to set a better example in the market.
On the contrary
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, numerous amount of students are taking their education in 50-100 students batch, evidently
group
Use synonyms
 study has its own perks. To be more specific, some learners carry reserved behaviour towards their teacher, but attending lessons in a
group
Use synonyms
 provides them with a comfortable environment and peer support during studies, empowering them to grasp more in their brain. To cite an example, 70% of taught ones in India are taking help from their friends in terms of borrowing notes, and doubt solving, which is only possible,
due to
Linking Words
 the connection they have made in the classrooms. In a nutshell,
although
Linking Words
 both situations have their own pros and cons, I opine that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 private teaching is unquestionably best, because of the personal attention, which student gets.
Submitted by pranav10puri on

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Task Achievement
Ensure to provide more in-depth examples and explanations to support your points. Avoid using informal language in formal essays (e.g., 'irrefutable,' 'looming paragraphs'). Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt clearly and thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks some logical flow and transitions between paragraphs. Try to organize your ideas in a more structured way. Additionally, avoid making sweeping generalizations without providing sufficient evidence or reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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