IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #technology #aspects #lives #home #leisure #work #activities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern
life
technology
 is altering many ways of our
life
,
that
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
 process has some good and bad sides. I guess
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays youngsters have more advantages and in the following statements, I want to discuss some of them. Main of the pluses of developing
information
technology
 in modern
life
 might be a simple opportunity to find several numbers of sources for
self-educatin
Correct your spelling
self-education
self-educatin'
.
People
 who want to expand their knowledge in some spaces can find a lot of data
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
google
Correct your spelling
Google
show examples
 or youtube. They can follow some social groups who have the same interest in education
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
 share
information
 about subjects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media.
Also
,
information
technology
 can help
people
 to find new friends in the world and share their own cultures and national things with themselves. Communication became
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
 for
people
 in the world.
in addition
, if someone feels isolated they will have opportunities to find new friends or
interestr
Correct your spelling
interests
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media
As
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
google statistics show that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 meet with new friends,
interests
Correct word choice
and interests
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media. One of the valuable
diadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
advantages
 of the influence of
information
technology
 progress might be
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle. Adults and young
people
 will sit in front of monitors or phones and it will lead to some
healts
Correct your spelling
health
 issues.
Unfortunately
Add a comma
,Unfortunately
show examples
 more
people
 avoid sports, walking or doing some outdoor activities.
As a result
, nowadays there are examples of illnesses about
this
 essential problem. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to say that modern
information
technology
 helps us to develop our knowledge and be closer to
people
 who have a lot of distance between themselves. I strongly believe that if
people
 find
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
 between
information
technology
 and sport activity they will be successful in their
life
.
Submitted by tukezaliyeva96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: