IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #technology #aspects #lives #home #leisure #work #activities
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In modern
life
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technology
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 is altering many ways of our
life
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,
that
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
 process has some good and bad sides. I guess
for
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apply
show examples
nowadays youngsters have more advantages and in the following statements, I want to discuss some of them. Main of the pluses of developing
information
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technology
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 in modern
life
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 might be a simple opportunity to find several numbers of sources for
self-educatin
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self-education
self-educatin'
.
People
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 who want to expand their knowledge in some spaces can find a lot of data
in
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on
show examples
google
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Google
show examples
 or youtube. They can follow some social groups who have the same interest in education
can
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and can
show examples
 share
information
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 about subjects
in
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on
show examples
 social media.
Also
Linking Words
,
information
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technology
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 can help
people
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 to find new friends in the world and share their own cultures and national things with themselves. Communication became
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
 for
people
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 in the world.
in addition
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, if someone feels isolated they will have opportunities to find new friends or
interestr
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interests
in
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on
show examples
 social media
As
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apply
show examples
google statistics show that most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
people
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 meet with new friends,
interests
Correct word choice
and interests
show examples
in
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on
show examples
 social media. One of the valuable
diadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
advantages
 of the influence of
information
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technology
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 progress might be
sedentary
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a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle. Adults and young
people
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 will sit in front of monitors or phones and it will lead to some
healts
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health
 issues.
Unfortunately
Add a comma
,Unfortunately
show examples
 more
people
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 avoid sports, walking or doing some outdoor activities.
As a result
Linking Words
, nowadays there are examples of illnesses about
this
Linking Words
 essential problem. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 want to say that modern
information
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technology
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 helps us to develop our knowledge and be closer to
people
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 who have a lot of distance between themselves. I strongly believe that if
people
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 find
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
 between
information
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technology
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 and sport activity they will be successful in their
life
Use synonyms
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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