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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Although there has been a large increase in the numbers of women who go out to work, women continue to do a disporportionate amount of housework and childcare. What can be done to promote greater equality between men and women within the home?

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Recently the issue
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
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 been brought into focus is promoting greater equality between
men
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 and
women
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 within
home
Add an article
the home
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 There is no denying that sharing
housework
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 between
men
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 and
women
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. There are many reasons for
this
Linking Words
 topic. For one thing, nowadays an ever-increasing number of
women
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work
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fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
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 and it is obvious that
housework
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 should be shared. For another, the family atmosphere will be happy when the
women
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 don’t have any stress in
housework
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. The most familiar example of
this
Linking Words
 is in my home. All the members always share
housework
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 together and there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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difference between
men
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 and
women
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.
whereas
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 there are some disadvantages
in
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
. Because
men
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 have less experience in doing household tasks,
according to
Linking Words
 the custom of many Asian countries.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
men
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 can’t do the household tasks perfectly. So that, the
women
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 may share many tips in guidance to their husbands to do
this
Linking Words
work
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 smoothly. Probably, there is some truth in the idea that sharing
housework
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 between
men
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 and
women
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 is the best way to keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
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happiness in the family and promote greater equality between
men
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 and
women
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. One thing which is equally important is reducing working time in the workplace for
women
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. The immediate result it produces is they will have enough time to manage
doing
Change the verb form
to do
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housework
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 and tasks at
work
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 . Perhaps the most obvious result of
this
Linking Words
 . They can take care of their family well and enjoy their life. The most familiar example of
this
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 is the woman staff in T&M Company in the USA will
work
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 less 2 hours than
men
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 and they just
work
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 4 hours on Friday. It is necessary that effective measures should be taken for
men
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 and
women
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 to share their household chores because it will help them reduce the workload and in turn, the stress.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it enables them to be independent when they are all alone.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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