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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the average carbon dioxide emiision per person in the countries uk,sweden, italy and portugal between 1967-2007

the graph below shows the average carbon dioxide emiision per person in the countries uk,sweden, italy and portugal between 1967-2007
#carbon #dioxide #emiision #person #countries #uk #sweden
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The graph illustrates the weight of the average CO2
emission
Use synonyms
 in four countries, the UK, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal, between 1967 and 2007. As can be seen from the line graph, Portugal and Italy share similar
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
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 in Co2
emission
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Use synonyms
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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. The UK always had the largest CO2
emission
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amount
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 during
this
Linking Words
 period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
emission
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 of each person in Portugal has slightly increased for 40 years starting from 1967. It moved from 1 metric to 5 metric
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tonners
Correct your spelling
tonnes
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.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
What
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 needs to be noticed is that the slope became more stable after 1997. Italian CO2
emission
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 trend is almost the same, which increased from
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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4.1 to 8.
However
Linking Words
, the decrease of emissions per person in the UK reduced from 1967 to 2007, which dropped from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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11 metric
tonners
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 to 9 metric
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tonners
Correct your spelling
tonnes
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. Turning to the
last
Linking Words
 country, Sweden. its CO2
emission
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amount
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 started at 8.2 metric
tonners
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 in 1967, reached its peak in 1977 and amounted to 11.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it continued to
dropped
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drop
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 down to the bottom
in
Change preposition
apply
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which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 5.1 metric
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tonners
Correct your spelling
tonnes
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.It is
tnteresting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 to notice that at
this
Linking Words
 point
of
Change preposition
in
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 2007. Sweden and Portugal had almost the same
amount
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 of
Use synonyms
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words co, emission, amount, tonners with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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