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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph illustrates the
amont
Correct your spelling
amount
 of expenditure which was spent by British
people
Use synonyms
 from five phases
generation
Change preposition
of generation
show examples
 in 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that
although
Linking Words
 the categories for food and drinks and for entertainment gained more popularity from older generations, restaurants and hotels are preferred by younger citizens at the period of time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with figures
of
Change preposition
for
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 food and drinks and entertainment, both categories saw more popularity in the
more
Change the word
apply
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older age, with the youngest population's proportion at well over 5% and the quadrupled percentage for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 aged between 61 and 75.
However
Linking Words
,
whereas
Linking Words
 their figure presented almost similar tendency in
all
Correct article usage
the all
show examples
 year group, in the data of above 76 seniors, there were almost half as much spending for recreation activities as for substance and
bevarage
Correct your spelling
beverage
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, expenditure for restaurants and hotels witnessed
different
Correct article usage
a different
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 trend, which was the most money spent by young
people
Use synonyms
 aged below 30 at the percentage at approximately 14%. Yet,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 category had a tendency that the popularity for
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
 generation was not as much as
younger's
Correct article usage
the younger's
show examples
, the oldest generation showed the figure at about 6% which was roughly triple
of
Change preposition
apply
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that
recordered
Correct your spelling
recorded
 by
people
Use synonyms
 who were between 61 and 75.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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