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Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#adults #time #computer #games #development
In the modern era, the majority of young ones want to spend their leisure time playing electronic games to freshen up themselves.
This
 essay intends to explicate several reasons and it is the negative development of the human. To commence with, there are multifarious reasons why people prefer to play computer games today. The predominant one is that individuals want to play digital plays to freshen their minds. To explain it, nowadays youth are living in a competitive era
that is
 why they have to do a lot of hard work
for achieving
Change preposition
to achieve
show examples
 success in their life. During the performance, they can feel bored and cannot concentrate on their job,
then
 they prefer to play computer matches in their spare time to freshen their mind and give some energy to their body
while
 playing their interesting competitions on the electronic gadget.
For instance
, a survey was conducted by
oxford university
Correct your spelling
Oxford University
show examples
 in 2022. 50% of people preferred to play digital fun to relax their bodies.
As a result
, it is a prudent approach for humans to
do
Verb problem
make
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 an effort with full energy.
On the other hand
, there are numerous adverse impacts on the population's strength and production. First and foremost
is that
Verb problem
,
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 it is suffering from well-being problems
while
 vast use of Technology. What I mean to say is that if the multitude uses computers for working
as well as
 entertainment purposes,
then
 they will suffer from health issues like obesity and weak eyesight.
For example
, a recent study reveals that 65% of young ones suffer from obesity and vision problems because of using computers the whole day for work and recreational activities. Henceforth, technology
puts
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a detrimental impact on human fitness.
To conclude
,
although
 there are several reasons why people want to play computer games like reducing the task burden, the vast use of playing digital contests
it put
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a negative impact on human health.
Submitted by rajveersra55 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The points made are supported but could be more cohesive and better connected.
task achievement
The essay responds to the task but the ideas are not always clear and comprehensive. The use of examples is relevant but could be more focused and specific.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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