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Band 5.5

Nowadays, there are a large number of coffee shops and fast-food vendors on high streets and in town centres. Why are there so many of these outlets? What effect is this having on the society?

#coffee #shops #fast-food #vendors #streets #town #centres #outlets #effect #society
Eating habits have changed immensely in the past decade, and it is continuously day by day. Numerous cafeterias and junky
food
 shops are located in reputed areas and it devotes to its effects on social life.
This
 essay will examine and emanate the plausible views and their effect in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, nowadays demands of youth are increasing in cuisine and cultural foods, to fulfil these requirements retail outlets take franchise infamous towns.
Moreover
, students who
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
 their homes and go abroad for
further
 opportunities will have to manage both their personal and educational life.
As a result
, they do not have enough time to cook homemade
food
 in that scenario, they can grab
food
 from neighbourhood stores and save a lot of time.
Therefore
, these kinds of situations prevent vendors to open more and more workrooms and earn handsome money.
On the other hand
, first of all, sometimes folk suffer from various diseases. To clarify, as the trend going on about unhealthy
food
 and drinking lots of coffee are rising number of problems among human beings. Youngsters even do not like healthy
food
instead
 they
preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 street
food
 which is made very quickly
such
 as pizza, burgers and many more, which creates health issues like obesity, heart attack and cholesterol.
For instance
, a survey was conducted on 100 societies on young age people which shows 90% of people are suffering from severe cardiovascular issues.
To conclude
, most pupils from different nations rely upon these reseller stores. So , buying coffee and instant
food
 becomes a necessity in an individual's life.
Submitted by kjskalsi21 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance. The body paragraphs should flow smoothly, developing on the stance with clear main points and well-organized supporting details. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points or arguments without introducing new ideas.
task achievement
Focus on fully addressing all parts of the task. Provide clear answers to the questions posed, ensuring that you offer sufficiently developed ideas and explanations, along with relevant examples where possible to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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