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Band 4.5

People nowsday tend to have children in older age . Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #nowsday #children #age
In recent
time
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times
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,most
individual
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individuals
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 desire to have
youngster
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youngsters
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at
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in
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 golden years. There are
series
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a series
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 of
reason
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the reason
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 that could lead to
this
 situation, which includes financial constraint in taking care of a family
while
 the
others
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other
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 factors
is
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are
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inability
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the inability
an inability
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 to woo a lady and psychological preparedness. From my observation , the demerit
outweigh
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outweighs
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 the merit .And
this
 relevant consequence will be
further
 explained in
this
 essay.
However
, marriage is an institution between a man and
woman
Correct article usage
a woman
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 in order to have a baby.the issue of financial instability has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 many
into
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to
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 delayed marriage ,most especially when the
economic
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economy
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 is not favourable in terms of providing job
opportunity
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opportunities
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 for the people is already a stumbling block to
such
phase
Correct article usage
a phase
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 in life. In
constrast
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contrast
, difficulty to express
one self
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oneself
show examples
 to a lady and emotionally
sets
Wrong verb form
set
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 for
this
 partnership are factors that are majorly the circumstances which lead to delay in having children. I once had a cousin
Change preposition
with that
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that
Correct pronoun usage
whom
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 we both have a dialogue , he gave me certain
requirement
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requirements
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 why is yet to settle down and prepare for kids,
is
Correct your spelling
his
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 response was
due to
 unemployment that the recession in the country is not friendly at all and he does not want any unborn neonate to suffer mercilessly without ensuring both physiological , safety and love and belonging needs are met
according to
 Abraham Maslow theory. In conclusion, having young ones at
Add an article
a
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tender age is prudence
cause
Correct word choice
because
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 you are able to grow and nurture them ,
there by
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thereby
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 bringing them in the fear of the Lord and ascribing good morals ,escaping andropause and menopause which is a
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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 diagnosis. But the finance and wellbeing of the child should be the utmost priority to be considered.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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