IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People nowadays tend to have children at a older age Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage

#people #children #age #advantage
Nowadays, married couples tend to give birth at an older age, which might be
due-to
Correct your spelling
due to
show examples
Correct article usage
the emotionally
show examples
emotionally
Change the word
emotional
show examples
preparation of the parents for the process,
however
, delay in the ability to conceive can
also
 be a disadvantage which I believe outweighs the disadvantages which can be medically corrected.
Firstly
, many couples nowadays believe that childbirth and child care are not a small deal,
that is
 why some people want to prepare either emotionally or financially towards having their child.
For instance
, I once had a neighbour who was a man at the age of 35 and still not married, so I asked him one day his reason for that and he said he doesn’t want his wife or offspring to lack anything whatsoever and that it’s after he made it by having a house and a car with a steady income and most people importantly he wanted to be emotionally ready to have a child and get married till he does so, which I think it’s a good idea
due to
 the fact that he wanted to be emotionally grounded before heading into it.
However
, the inability of the woman to conceive can be a great emotional stress and
also
 causes depression in the long run, but
this
 can be corrected in some ways.
For example
, I once had a patient who was not able to get pregnant for five years of marriage, many texts were done
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both the wife and her husband which all came out good but was still not able to have a baby. Later on, the physician suggested surrogacy which came out well and they had a twin. So,
this
 can be corrected medically. In conclusion,
although
 giving birth at an older age can be risky
due to
 some medical issues, I believe the advantage supersedes the disadvantage because it reduces the stress of coping with children and
also
 to Cater for their children. 320 words 1hr15mins
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: