IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People nowadays tend to have children at olderage. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages.

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In present times, some folks prefer to give birth to their young ones when they have advanced in age.
Although
Linking Words
 they become financially and mentally stable to meet the need of their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
, it
also
Linking Words
 has some demerits. Certain medical conditions are complicated with age.
Besides
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 menopause at a stage in the life of a woman is inevitable.
To begin
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 with,
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing
show examples
 process predisposes the body to certain disorders.
Similarly
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, pregnancy involves both physical and hormonal changes. Hypertension in older adults
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 likely to be more serious with cyesis and can result in preeclamptic toxaemia with
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 of losing the mother,
child
Use synonyms
 or both.
Furthermore
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, the youngster can have congenital abnormality from degenerative conditions in the
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 genes.
For instance
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,a couple got married in their early adulthood but decided not the have children until she was 40 years. The woman was diagnosed with severe hypertension at the age of 38. She
However
Linking Words
 got pregnant at 40 years but died during
Use synonyms
child birth
Correct your spelling
childbirth
show examples
 from complications of severe hypertension. Notwithstanding, the idea of being psychologically and financially prepared to bring forth fruits is paramount. The parents will be able to provide the basic amenities for their young ones without hurdles.
For example
Linking Words
. A young lady in my
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 graduated from the University,secured a
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
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 job and bought a house on
mortgage
Correct article usage
a mortgage
show examples
. She saved enough money before she got married . They both decided to have a
child
Use synonyms
 when she was 45 years. They could afford the best medical attention and she delivered a baby. The
child
Use synonyms
 had the best of his childhood, attended the best school and graduated from the University with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distinction. He had everything he needed. In conclusion,it is important to
be give
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 bring forth your youngsters as an older adult after acquiring the required means to provide comfort and nurture them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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