The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.  Write at least 150 words.   (20 mins.)
The pie charts illustrate 4 different retail sectors in online shopping in Canada between 2005 and 2010. The first
sector
is Electronics and Appliances which
the
Add a missing verb
was the
show examples
major purchasing in both 2005 and 2010 around one-third.
In addition
, there was 35
percent
in 2005 but it decreased 5
percent
in 2010.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
sector
, Food and Beverage, was 22
percent
in 2005 and increased
10
Change preposition
to 10
show examples
percent
after 5 years. The third
sector
is Home Furnishings, which significantly decreased
also
10
percent
between 2005 and 2010, from 25
percent
to 15
percent
. The
last
sector
, Video Games
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly rose 5
percent
from 18 to 23
percent
. In conclusion, as you can see, there were two sectors ( Electronics and Appliances, and Video Games) converting 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Similarly
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Home Furnishings and Food and Beverage were
also
converting 10
percent
to each other.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sector, percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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