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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the water cycle, which is the continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the Earth

The diagram below shows the water cycle, which is the continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the Earth
The charts illustrate the proportion of degrees granted in distinctive fields at the National
university
Fix capitalization
University
show examples
 in 1990,2000
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Computer
Use synonyms
Science
Use synonyms
 was significantly more tend to
granted
Verb problem
be granted
show examples
 than those who chose business and
law
Use synonyms
 or other
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
According to
Linking Words
 the data,
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 granted was
computer
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
under
Punctuation problem
, under
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 3% close to one half ,but out of
this
Linking Words
 total
about
Punctuation problem
, about
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 one in four ,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest were both
law
Use synonyms
 and business
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 a quarter percentage in 2010 .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, only 10% of
law
Use synonyms
 is granted,
whereas
Linking Words
 the average proportion in
2000s
Correct article usage
the 2000s
show examples
 was
computer
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 at forty per
sent
Use the right word
cent
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. Meanwhile, in four fields
patterns
Punctuation problem
, patterns
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 appear to be slightly distinctive in 1990 .
For example
Linking Words
, almost half were both
computer
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 and business of those who
granted
Verb problem
were granted
show examples
 , but at least there was
law
Use synonyms
 with 15% in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 The figures were 45% and thirty per cent respectively

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words computer, science, law with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • evaporation
  • transpiration
  • condensation
  • precipitation
  • aquifers
  • percolation
  • surface runoff
  • replenishing
  • infiltrates
  • atmosphere
  • vapor
  • liquid
  • cycle
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