some people think that iNTERNET HAS BROUGHT PEOPLE CLOSER TOGETHER WHILE OTHERS THINK THAT PEOPLE AND COMMUNITIES ARE BECOME MORE ISOLATED. DISCUSS BOTH SIDES AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.
There are some arguments that agree that social network connects
everyone
together, Use synonyms
while
many Linking Words
people
would not agree with that point. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss how social media can help Linking Words
everyone
keep in touch easily, showing the confidence of Use synonyms
people
who would prefer face-to-face meetings, and why I prefer using Use synonyms
the
social Correct article usage
apply
network
to offline Fix the agreement mistake
networks
meet
.
First of all, some social media apps, Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
such
as Facebook and Instagram help to connect Linking Words
everyone
together through a technology device, even if they are in 2 different nations. It Use synonyms
also
helps Linking Words
everyone
keep in touch easily with their family members, friends, and their partner. Use synonyms
For example
, abroad students Linking Words
could not
contact their families without the Internet, which could affect negatively their homesickness, and some students who cannot overcome the study pressures or international barriersWrong verb form
cannot
,
could harm themselves without self-control. Remove the comma
apply
Therefore
, I believe that using the Internet has more advantages than its drawbacks.
On another hand, a human's characteristics could be improved if they join the offline meet. The reason is, Linking Words
they
will be more confident and learn new things when they keep in touch with many Correct word choice
that they
people
around them, which helps them to perform well in front of Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
For instance
, a famous show named TedxTalk has shown that confidence can be boosted through offline conversations with every generation; Linking Words
therefore
, Linking Words
people
can learn many experiences and lessons from Use synonyms
everyone
Use synonyms
that
Change preposition
with
they
communicate in society. It Correct pronoun usage
whom they
also
contributes to the attraction and flexibility in their ideas and performances, which will give them promotions in their careers. I trust that it would not be more outweigh online meetings because of their flexibility and benefits.
In conclusion, a face-to-face meeting could give many advantages in life, Linking Words
such
as confidence and attraction; Linking Words
however
, connection with family and friends is more crucial and necessary in life, which helps Linking Words
people
to keep fighting every day.Use synonyms
Submitted by halenguyenkhanh2005 on
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task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, but the arguments are not fully developed or balanced. More in-depth analysis and exploration of each perspective is needed.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic logical structure, but there are some inconsistencies in the development of ideas. The use of cohesive devices could be improved to create clearer links between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is adequate, but there is room for improvement in the choice and variety of vocabulary. Some word choices are repetitive and lack precision.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is sufficient, but there are errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and word forms. The essay would benefit from more complex and varied sentence structures.