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Band 4

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #companies #industries #move #areas #centers
well , it is
true
Correct article usage
a true
show examples
 fact that individuals have to construct large buildings in the countryside
area
instead
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
show examples
side
 because in
rural
Add an article
a rural
the rural
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 the free land is available at
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 cost as
campare
Correct your spelling
compare
compared
 to
town
Correct article usage
the town
show examples
side
 .
Nevertheless
,
due to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 rate of pollution , it is best for them to construct industries outside the
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 city .From my perspective, I believe that
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
 of
this
 approach supersede
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 demerits. The most
prominents
Correct your spelling
prominent
 factor behind
this
 phenomenon is nowadays
people
 move
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 regional areas to large urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result ,
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 large amount of land is free in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 which can
people
 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 used to construct
campanies
Correct your spelling
campsites
.
Therefore
 , in these
areas
Add a comma
,areas
show examples
 the number of
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
which can help to maintain the ecosystem .
Apart from
this
 , if these industrial shifted villages
side
then
 unemployed
people
 get chance
do
Add the particle
to do
show examples
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 over
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 and earn good payout from it . On the darker
side
 , there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
impediment
Change to a plural noun
impediments
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 change as if the infrastructure move
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the small
area
then
people
 in
cities
 become unemployed and they
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
 to get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to do
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in
cities
 as industrial move
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Moreover
 , the production of products
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
 reduced as
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
 is available in
cities
Correct article usage
the cities
show examples
side
 , so that the market rate
also
 decreased dramatically.
To conclude
,
although
 it is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 way to reduce pollution in
Cities
 ,
however
 some
people
also
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their job
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
Correct your spelling
unemployment
employment
umployment
Correct article usage
the umployment
show examples
 rate
also
 increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
cities
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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