Studies show that many people in the prison have low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. To what extent do you agree.

#studies #show #people #prison #level #education #reason #crime #job

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Most of the prisons around the world have

majority

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the majority

a majority

show examples

of prisoners who are confined for one

crime

Use synonyms

case or the other,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

it is supposed by people that

that

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

the best way is to ensure formal learning so that they would get

Add an article

a job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

after they leave the prison,

therefore

Linking Words

in my opinion

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, in my opinion,

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it is agreed that

this

Linking Words

theory should be emphasized,

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay will pinpoint the reasons. In the world today, there is an increased

crime

Use synonyms

rate,

this

Linking Words

sometimes could be

as a result

Linking Words

of low educational level or joblessness

while

Linking Words

few are

the

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apply

show examples

lenient.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the best way to curb

menance

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menace

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society the government should provide vocational jobs in correctional

centers

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centres

show examples

and prison yards,

moreover

Linking Words

to maintain the stipulated agenda tutors are assigned to ensure that knowledge is inculcated.

For instance

Linking Words

, there was a program I viewed whereby the

non governmental

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non-governmental

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agency in my country enforced a programme called “Change Overview” in one of the prisons where skills are taught.

Furthermore

Linking Words

curbing

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by curbing

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discrimating

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discriminating

offences in the country, people

also

Linking Words

must be on deck to put the constitutional law into action.

However

Linking Words

, to reduce the

crime

Use synonyms

rate in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, prisoners must

also

Linking Words

be taught how to read and write because teaching them only the skills and not

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

conversant with their words or how to write might affect how they relate with their customers after they start up

those business

Change the determiner

that business

those businesses

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

government should provide them with jobs and help them start-up their various career. In conclusion, more effort should be in place so that making

this

Linking Words

proposal a notch, thereby making

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society a better place to stay.

Linking Words

This should

Correct pronoun usage

Should

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be in

respect

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the respect

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that

NGO’s

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NGOs

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, government parastatals and individuals should provide vocational training like tailoring, hairstyling and so on

into

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the law enforcement

agent

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agencies

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such

Linking Words

as the police schemes thereby instigating

crime

Use synonyms

rate

Correct your spelling

show examples

the country.

Submitted by oludayotemilade on Fri May 19 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Rehabilitation programs
Reintegration into society
Reoffending rates
Life skills training
Educational attainment
Vocational training
Socio-economic factors
Inmate rehabilitation
Criminal behavior
Preventative measures

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Studies show that many people in the prison have low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. To what extent do you agree.

Fully explain your ideas

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. 1. Why do some people work harder? 2. Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Some people sat that it is a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and/or weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.