IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it's bad for them. Why? What are the most effective ways to improve people's eating habits?

#people #food #habits
Unhealthy
food
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is really bad for
people
,but they still eat that. Personally,I agree with
this
 statement to a maximum extent and my essay will elaborate on
this
 in the following paragraphs. In the first place,
people
 prefer tasty
food
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 healthy. Many doctors can explain
this
 that
people
 do not notice terrible effects from junk
food
. But
unfortunately
Add a comma
,unfortunately
show examples
 it is,that
people
 do not select enough vitamins for
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of their body. Honestly,that kind of
food
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not benefit
people
,it has been proven by many studies. Another reason is that
people
 do not take care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 health. They do not understand that they must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
do exercises.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 almost nobody
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not
Rewrite the sentence
apply
show examples
want
Add the particle
towant
show examples
 keep fit,eat not delicious
food
 or refuse
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
junk
food
. In conclusion,it can hardly be denied that
people
fond
Add a missing verb
are fond
show examples
 of unhealthy
food
. Examples and proofs
are wrote
Change the verb form
are written
show examples
 in my essay and I do not have any doubt that it is
truth
Replace the word
true
show examples
.
Submitted by azatorazalin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: