Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views on whether the most tricky situation in
this
era is the extinction of creatures. While
I can understand why people regard the loss of particular species of plants and animals as the main environmental problem, I do believe that there are more challenging problems needed
to be addressed.
On the one hand, I accept that environmentalists are concerned about environmental deterioration the most for many reasons. Wrong verb form
that need
Firstly
, the decreasing species of living things will minimize the richness of flowers, trees as well
as
insects. Correct word choice
and
For example
, many sea creatures are on the verge of dying these days and this
will result in the lack of natural enemies for some fishes. The growing number of these fish that lack preyers will decrease the amount of seaweed rapidly, which may cause an imbalance in the whole ocean system. Lastly
, the larger quantities of carcasses caused by the disappearance of these lives can also
pollute the ecosystem.
On the other hand
, there are many global issues which require much more attention. First of all, the greenhouse effect is becoming increasingly serious. For instance
, global warming had
already become a matter of concern to people all over the world with the excessive emission of Carbon dioxide 2 (CO2) produced by industrialized factories and automobiles. Wrong verb form
has
In addition
, if global warming kept
going as before, the ice in the Antarctic will gradually melt on a daily basis, and Wrong verb form
keeps
this
will lead to a sharper decrease in animal species. What's more, the ozonosphere
is becoming much thinner, which will have detrimental effects on the environment.
In conclusion, it is reasonable to assume that the dying out of valuable organisms is in urgent need tackled. Correct your spelling
ozone layer
However
, I would argue that matters related to the Earth as a whole should be allocated equal importance.Submitted by 915818382 on
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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views and presenting the writer's opinion. However, the reasons supporting the importance of other environmental issues could be more developed and specific.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear structure to the essay. However, the development of ideas lacks cohesion, and there is a need for stronger links between sentences and paragraphs to improve overall coherence.