IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #changes #birth #death #rates #zealand #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given line chart provides the alteration of birth and death numbers in New Zealand from 1901 to 2101.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the birth rates tend to fluctuate yet it is predicted to fall in the future.
While
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the death numbers are more likely to increase over the two centuries.
To begin
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 with, as can be seen in the figure,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct quantifier usage
number of child
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child births
Correct your spelling
childbirths
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 tended to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
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signficantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 from 1901 until
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 reached
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 peak in 1961. During
this
Linking Words
 period, though there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 downward
in
Change preposition
apply
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every twenty years, the growth still rose
two
Change preposition
to two
show examples
 peaks from around 20,000s to 65,000s newborns.
However
Linking Words
, the wave emerged in 1961
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 it is predicted to decrease slowly from 2021 to 2101.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is obvious that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
death
Replace the word
dead
show examples
 people
uplifted
Add a missing verb
were uplifted
show examples
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1901 to 2041.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2021 to 2041, the mortality number
upsurge
Wrong verb form
upsurged
show examples
 sharply to reach about 6000s and it end up to becomes steady
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 60.000 after
then
Linking Words
.
Submitted by rams212 on

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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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