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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and chart give information about the migration to the UK between 2000 and 2008. The line graph shows the intended length of stay of immigrants. The pie chart shows the reasons for migration to the UK in 2008.

The graph and chart give information about the migration to the UK between 2000 and 2008. The line graph shows the intended length of stay of immigrants. The pie chart shows the reasons for migration to the UK in 2008.
#information #migration #uk #line #length #immigrants
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The compare charts depict information about how long immigrants intended to stay and
cause
Correct article usage
the cause
show examples
 for shifting to the United Kingdom from 2001 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest number of visitors stayed in the UK for up to two
years
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest was for four to six
years
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, the prominent
reason
Use synonyms
 for
visited
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
 for work and the less giving accompany to family and without any particular
reason
Use synonyms
. In the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2001, just above 1,50,000
people
Use synonyms
 stayed in England for
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 2
years
Use synonyms
, 1,00,000 for two to four
years
Use synonyms
 and almost 50,000
people
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 live there for four to six
years
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. After 2
years
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, the tourists have more interested to
stayed
Change the form of the verb
stay
show examples
 in Britain for 2
years
Use synonyms
 which was recorded for
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 about 2,30,000 and the other two categories
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 levelled-off until
last
Linking Words
 year,
while
Linking Words
 2
years
Use synonyms
 of visitors followed an upward trend till in 2008 which was accounted for nearly 2,60,000. Moving
further
Linking Words
, the main
reason
Use synonyms
 for migration to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 for work purposes that was constituted 38% and 7% of the individuals who moved to
this
Linking Words
 continent for personal reasons.
In contrast
Linking Words
, 7%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 went to England for no specific
reason
Use synonyms
. The proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who stayed there for the academic field was 32% and 16% reached for meet with their parents.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, reason, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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