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Band 7

The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Please try to

The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Please try to
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The chart gives information on individuals sleeping routines in 5 jobs in Canada(students, truck drivers, full-time
mothers
Use synonyms
, business executives and doctors).
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that the students and the
mothers
Use synonyms
 sleep the most
whereas
Linking Words
 the study shows that doctors sleep the lowest,
also
Linking Words
 in between we have truck drivers and business people who sleep an average amount of
hours
Use synonyms
. First of all, the napping time of a student shows continuous sleep of 8
hours
Use synonyms
 at night which is a healthy routine, at the same time
mothers
Use synonyms
 sleep 8
hours
Use synonyms
 but in different intervals of the day. Compared to students and
mothers
Use synonyms
, doctors sleep only for 5
hours
Use synonyms
 which is not sufficient for a human being. As we know that the average nap
hours
Use synonyms
 required for a man is 7-8
hours
Use synonyms
 we have business executives and truck drivers who sleep only 6
hours
Use synonyms
 which is
also
Linking Words
 not up to the mark. A good sleep will give you a good day.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mothers, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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