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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

There have been calming that Covid-19 vaccines have not been tested for their long-term effects, so people should not get vaccinated

#covid-19 #vaccines #effects #people
Due to
uncertain
Replace the word
uncertainty
show examples
 regarding the safety of
Covid-19
vaccines
, some
people
 believe that
people
 should avoid
vaccination
. I disagree with the statement, and my reason will be elaborated(explained) in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, it might seem reasonable for some
people
 to perceive that
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
vaccines
 are unsafe as it generally takes at least five years to determine the long-term impacts of a vaccine on humans.
On the other hand
,
Covid-19
vaccines
 were developed and approved by health
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 around the world within less than a year after the spread of the virus. In many countries,
for example
, there have been reports about
people
 who experienced side effects
such
 as chest pain, nausea and heart inflammation, among others. As a result,
people
 might become
skeptical
Change the spelling
sceptical
show examples
 about the adverse effects of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vaccines
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run. From
this
 perspective, it might appear sensible/logical that some might feel that
vaccination
 can put their lives in jeopardy.
However
, I personally believe that the advantages of the
Covid-19
vaccines
 should be taken into consideration before jumping to
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclusions
. To simply explain, the
vaccines
 were scientifically proven to potentially lower the hospitalization and fatality rates after being diagnosed with
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
. In many countries,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and Germany
in particular
, saw a significant decline in hospitalizations following nationwide
vaccination
 campaigns.
Moreover
, after
vaccination
 millions of individuals, only less than 2% were shown to have allergic reactions to the
vaccines
.
Therefore
, it is evident that
vaccination
 has far more benefits than risks.
To conclude
,
although
 it is undeniable that there are risks associated with
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
vaccines
, I am of the opinion that
vaccination
 is the most viable solution to the current pandemic.
Submitted by Kotchamon.jk on

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task response
The essay addresses the given topic effectively and presents a clear argument both for and against the statement. The ideas are well-supported with relevant examples and reasoning, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion. Ideas are presented coherently and cohesive devices are appropriately used to link the different parts of the essay. However, some areas could benefit from more effective transitional phrases to improve overall coherence.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is quite strong, with a wide range of vocabulary used accurately and appropriately. There is evidence of precision and flexibility in the use of words and phrases. To enhance the lexical resource, try incorporating more advanced vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures and a wide range of sentence structures. However, there are instances of repetitive language and some minor grammatical errors, which, if addressed, would further enhance the grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global pandemic
  • deployment
  • unprecedented
  • collaboration
  • rigorous
  • efficacy
  • alleviate
  • continuous monitoring
  • Long Covid
  • herd immunity
  • vulnerable populations
  • scientific expertise
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