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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatment #doctor #development
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In recent times, are increasing figure of individuals with health-related issues are trying other methods of
drugs
Use synonyms
 and treatments
such
Linking Words
 as herbal in place of going to
consult
Wrong verb form
consulting
show examples
 their health expert. In as much as
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 herbs and
treatment
Use synonyms
 options tend to be helpful
atimes
Correct your spelling
times
at times
, it is a negative development as
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
drugs
Use synonyms
 lack prescription, the manufacturers of them have little or no adequate knowledge and
also
Linking Words
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
treatment
Use synonyms
 areas do not have
necessary
Add an article
the necessary
show examples
 equipment.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the Orthodox method of treating illness and drug supply has many dangers attached to them in as much as they tend to be affordable.
Linking Words
This dangers
Change the determiner
This danger
These dangers
show examples
 can be
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a result of
first,
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of proper dosage information. Human beings at
this
Linking Words
 point are left with no other option than to take over or under those of them which can lead to various conditions and even death.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is observed that those who carry out
this
Linking Words
treatment
Use synonyms
 or even produce these
drugs
Use synonyms
 have little or no knowledge about what they are doing because they did not attend schools for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 procedures, they tend to carry out guesswork there by using the lives
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
 humans to do trial and error.
Lastly
Linking Words
, these
treatment
Use synonyms
 areas are likely not to have the necessary equipment to carry out
a particular tasks
Correct the article-noun agreement
particular tasks
a particular task
show examples
 thereby endangering the lives of humans.
For instance
Linking Words
, the traditional bone setters are individuals who try to manipulate the bone under a blind setting
as a result
Linking Words
 of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of instruments
such
Linking Words
 as X-ray
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
. These people have cost a lot of complications in our present time and country, putting individuals at risk of losing their hands and legs and at some point resulting
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 death. To sum it up, in as much as people have little or no money to go to good health facilities and buy good
drugs
Use synonyms
, the little they have should be used properly by going to good hospitals which the government has made free to avoid abusing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drugs
Use synonyms
 and being attended to by quacks.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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