Task 2 ( agree or disagree). Government spends much money for education. More money should be spemt on free-time activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #spemt #free-time #activities

Nowadays, Education spending is important to the

government

these days and they are neglecting leisure

activities

as usual. These exercises are beneficial for everyone. I agree that the

government

should spend more money on leisure

activities

. Undoubtedly, today, the money spent on education is very important for

people

in every country, and I will add that today's young educated societies are peaceful nations and

society

Fix the agreement mistake

societies

show examples

free from crime.

Therefore

, the level of literacy indicates the status of each country.

In addition

, free

time

activities

are

also

important. Because students can spend their free

time

with various

activities

after studying.

Then

they will be distracted even a little and spend their free

time

productively.

Therefore

, the

government

should pay

attention

to free

time

On the other hand

, if

people

engage in some

activities

in their free

time

, they fight less with themselves and the

people

around them. And

then

it doesn't even come down to

stess

Correct your spelling

stress

. For Shinung, the

government

should

also

pay

attention

people

's free

time

. In short, the

government

should pay equal

attention

to both. He should pay more

attention

to his free

time

. If I don't, there may be a lot of conflict between

people

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Sun May 21 2023

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Task Achievement

The essay does not fully address the prompt, as it largely focuses on the importance of leisure activities rather than discussing whether more money should be spent on them than on education. It would be important to explicitly discuss the extent to which the government should prioritize leisure activities over education.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction lacks a clear expression of the writer's opinion and the overall structure and coherence of the essay could be improved. While the writer presents some relevant points, they are not systematically developed and the essay lacks a clear conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

198 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Task 2 ( agree or disagree). Government spends much money for education. More money should be spemt on free-time activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that a significant amount of time and money is allocated to the conservation of wild animals, suggesting that these resources could be better utilized for the benefit of the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

You recently attended a meeting at a hotel when you returned home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. - Explain the problem - Say why the documents are important - Suggest at a solution

The pictures below show how tea is produced. They also illustrate the process of making a cup of tea. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the environment as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.