IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that the prevailing growth of online marketplaces will end up closing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the conventional brick-and-mortar shops in our cities. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as I witness day-to-day improvement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
digital marketing.
This
Linking Words
 type of distant marketing provides convenience to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 as they spend most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 online and their
time
Use synonyms
 is worth more than anything.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why online marketing has more edge than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional marketing.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals spend more
time
Use synonyms
 online, and it is very convenient for them to order materials through online sites. Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies showcase their
products
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their websites and,
therefore
Linking Words
 it is very easy for the consumer to go through the sites and find the appropriate
products
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 sitting at their home.
This
Linking Words
 facility is not available
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conventional malls and supermarkets.
For example
Linking Words
, the big tech Amazon can manifest a wide variety of electronic
products
Use synonyms
 available in China, and individuals sitting in Brazil can find
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and order them through
Amazon
Correct article usage
the Amazon
show examples
 site. In the absence of online
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 must visit China to explore the
products
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
 digital marketing has more privileges since more choices are available as far as
products
Use synonyms
 are concerned.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
people
Use synonyms
 value
time
Use synonyms
 since each second costs
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them. Nowadays, companies hire
people
Use synonyms
 on
hourly
Add an article
an hourly
show examples
 basis and employers are keen to check whether the work will be completed within
stipulated
Add an article
the stipulated
a stipulated
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, employees want to spend their valuable hours on their work rather than wasting
time
Use synonyms
 in supermarkets.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 get their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 groceries with a few clicks through online delivery apps like Uber. By not wasting their
time
Use synonyms
 on the hassles of going and searching in supermarkets,
people
Use synonyms
 get more
time
Use synonyms
 to spend
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 career
as well as
Linking Words
 other amusement activities.
To conclude
Linking Words
, online marketing has more benefits than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conventional shopping which demands visiting brick-and-mortar shops.
Due to
Linking Words
 these benefits
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are more into different types of digital marketing which leads to
closure
Correct article usage
the closure
show examples
 of traditional shopping centres.
Submitted by pteacademy79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: