IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Economic is believed to be
one
Use synonyms
 of the indicators of
country’s
Correct article usage
a country’s
show examples
 strength and power. Some people consider that economic progress is the most important goal government should achieve.
While
Linking Words
 others think so, I share the opinion that there are many other
problems
Use synonyms
 citizens must solve. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 economic state
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the country helps reach the international ring and shows
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prosperity to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Malaysia
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
 country, but with a help of a
governments
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 strategy to get out of
poorest
Correct article usage
the poorest
show examples
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
 rating
now
Add a comma
,now
show examples
 it becomes
one
Use synonyms
 of the youngest and rich
one
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, economic growth
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 to entry the international ratings and take part in many big meetings.
For instance
Linking Words
, Kazakhstan had
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
significant economic growth and after many
conferences
Add a comma
,conferences
show examples
 it has decided to organise an international exhibition called EXPO, which brought many tourists from all over the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should solve the
problems
Use synonyms
 of more important spheres of life as healthcare. In the
last
Linking Words
 3
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 the number of people
died
Correct pronoun usage
who died
show examples
 from coronavirus
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 grown. It can be supposed that
one
Use synonyms
 of the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it is just because the countries were not prepared for it in material meaning including
laekness
Correct your spelling
likeness
darkness
weakness
 of medicines and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, second
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the list of great
problems
Use synonyms
 is environmental pollution. The seriousness of it is rejected (?), like it was
this
Linking Words
 year in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 city of Aktobe in Kazakhstan, when villages were flooded, but the government had
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a problem
problems
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 of economic inflation at the same time. People should believe that economic progress must be equalled with
such
Linking Words
problems
Use synonyms
 as health and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 pollution.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: