IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say mobile phones should not be allowed in public places, others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever they like.

#people #phones #places #mobiles
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It is irrefutable that, mobile
phones
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 are one of the most remarkable inventions of the 21st century. Unlike in the past, numerous masses are operating it at a massive level.
Thus
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, few individuals believe that
,
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 its usage in public places should be prohibited,
while
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 others are in favour of its consumption in public
space
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spaces
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. I advocate the former statement and I will discuss both views in the looming paragraphs. To Commence, public
areas
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 are imbibed with a different type of humans, where a number of incidents usually occurs. Plethora of cases had been reported in the past regarding mobile snatching in public
areas
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: parks and metro stations,
,
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certainly
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,certainly
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 it's proven to be harmful to them.
Moreover
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, nowadays individuals are deeply engrossed in their tech gadgets that, they lost their attentiveness to
surroundings
Correct pronoun usage
their surroundings
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 and become prone to accidents in many cases,
such
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 as walking on a zebra crossing or on roads with attention on the mobile
phones
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 can certainly put anyone in danger. To cite an example, research declared an information that, 10% of accidents occurred because of mobile usage in public
areas
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.
On the contrary
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, with the rise in technology,
phones
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 are embedded with plenty of features and
it
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they
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 became like oxygen for millennials. To explain more, cameras in mobile
phones
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 are developed profoundly,
therefore
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 they use them to capture beautiful moments of their life by clicking myriad of pictures and storing them for remembrance.
Additionally
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, gadgets are advanced, and
as a
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result
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,result
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 working professionals are doing the majority of their work and communicating in public
areas
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itself
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apply
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during their travel time.
However
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, it will be challenging to restrict them from using it. In a nutshell, it is impossible to stop anyone from using mobile
phones
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 in public
areas
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 but, I opine that
,
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apply
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 being a responsible and awake citizen, they can minimize the usage of it in certain
areas
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, where there is a probability of any
danger
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dangerous
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 around them.
Submitted by pranav10puri on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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