IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 bar chart illustrates in terms or figures the
Use synonyms
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
show examples
 ‏constructions in ‏
Nottingham
Use synonyms
 and
Derby
Use synonyms
 from 2000 ‏to 2009 . ‏
Overall
Linking Words
 , The
houses
Use synonyms
 in
Derby
Use synonyms
 show a fluctuation
while
Linking Words
 in
Nottingham
Use synonyms
experiences
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 a
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 as the years went
.
Rephrase
by.
show examples
 ‏ The most figure recorded in
Derby
Use synonyms
 in 2009 by almost 350 buildings,
while
Linking Words
Nottingham
Use synonyms
 had only 250 buildings. The lowest ‏
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number of homes noted in
Nottingham
Use synonyms
 were in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 years 2006 and 2008 with nearly ten and 15
houses
Use synonyms
 respectively. ‏The number of residential units ‏ maintained ‏from ‏2003 to 2006
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 in
Derby
Use synonyms
 with almost 120 accommodations indicated by the plateau column in the chart perspective. ‏In 2000, 40
houses
Use synonyms
 were built in both countries,
whereas
Linking Words
 the following year
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Nottingham
Use synonyms
 ‏
seen
Add the auxiliary verb
saw
has seen
show examples
 a slight upsurge,
while
Linking Words
Derby
Use synonyms
 maintained stable . ‏
Derby
Use synonyms
 experienced a sharp increase in 2008 reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 ‏280
houses
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
followed by
peak
Correct article usage
a peak
show examples
 the next year. In
Nottingham
Use synonyms
 , the highest number of
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 was in 2007 and 2004
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
190 and 250 respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words houses, derby, nottingham with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: