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Band 2.5

Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #subjects #school #students
Some argue that
art
lessons
such
 as painting or drawing should not be mandatory for high school students. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss
this
 viewpoint's
pro
Fix the agreement mistake
pros
show examples
 and
corns
Correct your spelling
cons
show examples
 and include my own opinion. On the one hand, there are many several
subjects
 that schools recommend for
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
. Leaners always choose the
subjects
 that they will pass
excam
Correct your spelling
exam
exams
.
That is
 why children choose major
subjects
such
 as math,
phisics
Correct your spelling
physics
,
chemistry
Correct word choice
and chemistry
show examples
.
Moreover
, not always
art
 tempt
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
, because they consider
art
lessons
 more abstract. They do not
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
 waste their time learning these
subjects
.
On the other hand
, not all students have
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 ability
major
Fix the infinitive
to major
show examples
 subject and it would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
underestimate their other skills. For
inctanse
Correct your spelling
instance
, a student of
minecould
Correct your spelling
mine could
 not learn math,
geography
Correct word choice
or geography
show examples
, but she has
facsinating
Correct your spelling
fascinating
 painting
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. I discovered her painting
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 when she was in 9th class. I consider
art
lessons
 should
be teach
Change the verb form
be teaching
show examples
 children. But it does not mean that it should be obligatory.
Pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
Pupils
show examples
 should choose themselves which
lessons
 they want to learn. Tu sum up all mentioned above some people believe that
art
 subject be compulsory,
while
 others think that it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time to learn
art
 subject in high school.
Submitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on

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Structure
Try to provide a more structured approach to your essay by clearly introducing, developing, and concluding your arguments. This can greatly improve readability and the effectiveness of your communication.
Specificity
Work on avoiding generalizations and focus on substantiating your points with more specific examples and explanations. This will make your argument more persuasive and grounded.
Language Accuracy
Review and correct grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to improve the professional quality of your writing. Consistently correct language use also aids in making your argument more compelling.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the flow and interest of your text. This variability can attract and hold the reader's attention more effectively.
Position Clear
You've shown a clear position on the topic, which is good for meeting the task's requirements.
Balance
Including contrasting viewpoints provides a well-rounded discussion of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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